


A Letter from Daryl

by TWDObsessive



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Author does not recommend, Daryl writes Rick a letter as he's held hostage at Negan's compound, Emotional Hurt, Feels, Heavy Angst, I hate myself, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, POV Daryl Dixon, POV First Person, Pining, Unrequited Love, What Have I DONE?!, this is awful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 13:57:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8448775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/TWDObsessive
Summary: Daryl writes a letter that he hopes can be secretly delivered to Rick as he sits prisoner at Negan's compound.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, I hate myself for writing this and I should be shot in my sleep. I don't know why or how this even came out of me. I literally cried at my own damn fic. This may have been a first. I hope you don't all hate me. I promise I'll try to get to something funny or fluffy to make up for this!
> 
> Unbeta'd because I don't really want to subject anyone to this. Seriously--- I feel like this is agony. But for whatever reason, I'm posting anyway. Read at your own risk.

Rick,

I’m sorry. Ain’t good at sayin’ shit like that. Ain’t good sayin’ goodbye’s neither but I think my time might be comin’. It’s on me that Glenn is gone- that Maggie is a pregnant widow. And I don’t want forgiveness from her. Or from anyone. It was on me. It’s my price to pay and I’m paying it now. I need you to know that I won’t let you down. I will be strong here and I will do what I can to take Negan out… to escape… to pay my dues to Maggie. 

But I think we both know, the chances of me being successful are slim to none. And I need you to to keep me out of the equation. I don’t want no one comin’ for me. I’m here ‘cause I earned the punishment. You know I can take it, Rick. Always have been able to take what’s given to me. What’s owed. What’s deserved. He ain’t gonna break me. He’ll kill me first and that will be just fine.

I don’t want any of you risking your lives for me. I don’t want you making decisions because you know I’m here and you need to protect me. You need to assume I’m already gone. I can’t be a consideration any longer. I don’t know if you’ll ever get this letter, but I had to write it. Ain’t nothin’ else to do sittin’ here being a damn POW at the end of the world but think ‘bout shit and have regrets.

They’re bringing me to the first pick-up in Alexandria- to show how I’ve been tamed. I’m bein' whatever they need me to be so’s I can buy time and try for Negan again. I’ll have this note on me and will try to drop it for someone to find. And when he brings me back to the cell I’m in, I’ll pretend you’ve gotten it. And that’s all the peace I’ll need.

Since I’m already gone, I’m going to leave you one last thing whether you want it or not. Because I want you to have it even though I know it’s selfish of me. But shit, Rick. I ain’t never had nothin’ in this life and I want to take just one thing for myself. I don’t want to die without you knowing what you were to me. 

You was my first friend. My brother. My family. My leader. And, Rick, I love you. I have loved you since you went back to Atlanta for my brother. Since that awful scream from when Andrea shot me. From when we cleared the prison together, side-by-side. To the long lonely road out of Terminus. You kept me going, kept me alive. You’ve always had faith and trust in me that no one else ever had. I love you and I know you love me too. Just not the same way...and that’s okay. I’m used to wanting and not getting. I just want you to know that you have meant the world to me. You have _been_ my world. 

I dream about you here at the compound and it makes the nights easier on me. If I’m bein’ honest, you probably don’t want the details of those dreams, but they make me feel loved and wanted- not just a fucked-up Dixon. And that’s what you’ve always done for me, Rick. You’ve made me feel like I’m someone. Thank you for giving me that. For giving me the chance to be someone. To love someone. I wish I’d have taken the chance to show you how much you mean to me. I know it wouldn’t be reciprocated. I ain’t Lori. Or Jessie. Or Michonne. I ain't foolish ‘nough to think you’d want me like I want you. But, Rick, I don’t want to leave this life without telling someone I love them. And it’s you. It’s always been you.

Please take care of Maggie and the baby. Take care of Carl and Judith and let everyone know how much they’ve meant to me. I hope to see you again on the other side. Ain’t like I believe none a’ that shit. But pretendin’ I might lay eyes on you again one day makes it easier to breathe these last breaths. 

Love, from the beginning to the end,  
Daryl

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me. Please don't hate me. Please don't hate me.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A letter from Rick](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451964) by [legolastariel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel)




End file.
